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Joke of the Day

"After failing my first 2 exams, I just got an A on my third Anatomy exam... the answers were inside me the entire time"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"What does a prostitute and a bungee jump have in common? They both cost a lot, last 5 seconds, and if the rubber splits you're fucked."

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but they have to be very small."

"I used to be in a band called Blank Cheque. After three years we were still unsigned."

"My doctor told me that I had Eczema on my elbow... I told him that was pretty redundant. Eggs on my on my elbow? So much for that PhD. I just hope it goes away before they hatch..."

"My wife and I moved to a new house. It's the only place I've lived where I can tolerate the neighbours. It's next to a cemetery."

"HARRY POTTER: Alohamora MORA: Aloha, Harry"

"How do you find an obese woman's vagina in the dark? Go through the folds of fat until you smell shit, then go back one."

"Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders."