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Joke of the Day

"What does a prostitute and a bungee jump have in common? They both cost a lot, last 5 seconds, and if the rubber splits you're fucked."

"If you receive an e-mail that says: ''FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS'' Don't open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets."

"Coming soon to NBC: She's a lawyer who, you guessed it, doesn't play by the rules. And he's a doctor who, right again, pees sitting down."

"What do you call someone who is iffy about cleaning lawn games? A wishy-washy Washer washer."

"Morpheus: ""You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--"" Me: ""Blue pill."""

"Never Marry A Tennis Player Love means nothing to them."

"What do you call someone who commits piracy? Neckbeard the pirate"

"Bed Bath & Beyond starts off pretty normal-sounding, but then it goes galactic."

"What do you call 5 lesbians and 5 state workers? 10 people that don't do dick."

"Strings are usually pretty straight Unless they're knot"