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Joke of the Day

"Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing."

"Why does Santa deliver all the presents Because it's for a good clause"

"I ignored your Facebook Friend Request only because there isn't a ""Oh Hell No!"" Button!!!"

"After sitting in the labor and delivery waiting room chairs for 12 hours, I need an epidural as much as those women in labor do."

"My Life Sucks... Because my wife doesn't."

"Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see."

"What do you call an emo vegetable? A despair-agus"

"*judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*"

"I have an irrational fear of elevators I always feel like they are going to let me down someday."

"Everytime I text my new boss, his only response is FU! I should have expected it. They all told me he was a man of few words."