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Joke of the Day

"The past, present and future walk into a bar It was tense"

"The Muffin Joke Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One turned to the other and said ""Hey, it's pretty hot in here, isn't it?"" The other turned and shouted ""Oh my god a talking muffin!"""

"Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night? Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Banana who? KEVIN!"

"I can't stand those interfering people who bang on your door and tell you how you need to be ""saved"" or you'll ""burn""... Fucking firemen."

"what's the difference between a slut and a bitch a slut fucks everybody, a bitch fucks everybody but me ;P"

"So these two blondes walk into a building.. You would have thought one of them would have seen it."

"What do pedophile sex-tourists and napalm have in common? They can both strip a Vietnamese orphan in under a minute."

"If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn't 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?"

"A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean today. The survivors are marooned."