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Joke of the Day

"You know pornstar are really violent people... Everything always comes to blows."

"The guy who coined the phrase,""I'm not gettin any younger."" The guy he said it to then coined the phrase,""No shit, Sherlock."""

"What do you call a prostitute who does both men and women? An omniwhore."

"I'm not saying I've had a lot to drink, but my foot just fell asleep so I drew dicks on it."

"I asked my friend why i have a thing for short Asian girls. he said ""its because you want them to call you Godzilla in bed"""

"Man, boobs are amazing!"

"Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?"

"I'm trying to get my wife to quit smoking. Maybe I should slow down and use a lubricant."

"How do you define necrophilia? The urge to crack open a cold one"

"I know it's normal to be naked in front of your doctor, but I still get really self-conscious every time I go to the optometrist"