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Joke of the Day

"Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?"

"Don't let go of your dreams Press snooze"

"Apparently Hooters is a great place to meet single dads on a Sunday."

"How do you know if someone is an Alabama fan? Oh don't worry, they'll tell you."

"You had me at ""we've got the place surrounded"""

"What do you get when you have a great Dane, a Clydesdale, and a Prostitute? A huge dog and pony show"

"Wife: Maybe its time for ""the talk"" Me: Ok. Son, cops can't bust you for the drugs you've done, just the drugs you have. Her: Not that talk!"

"Mama said there'd be days like this, and also ""knock you out"" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk."

"Arcade Fire: great band / nerd way to die"

"What did the baby computer say to his father? Data!"