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Joke of the Day
"Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?"
Next Joke
"What is Hillary Clinton's favorite arcade game? PAC-Man."
"PSYCHOLOGIST: [holding up inkblot] wat do u see ME: a outdated discredited method with no scientific backing PSYCHOLOGIST: [starts sweating]"
"Haloween is over, but i just saw a group of people dressed up as the ghosts of the Cone Heads."
"""Imma let you spinach"" - Kanye ft. Popeye"
"Women and not being attractive If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive."
"We're sorry, the number you have dialed... 911 has been changed to a non-published number. Please make a note of it."
"I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts."
"Yo mammas so fat When she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck in between"
"If you love a cat, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours to keep. If it doesn't, you drove far enough."