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Joke of the Day

"The guy who coined the phrase,""I'm not gettin any younger."" The guy he said it to then coined the phrase,""No shit, Sherlock."""

"Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise."

"Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right? My point is old people shouldn't get to vote"

"My toddler just asked me ""mummy why do people think falsely attributing quotes to my preschool peers lends their bad opinions authenticity?"""

"Today I tried to remove a bandage I couldn't pull it off"

"""Bitches always be conforming to unhealthy standards set and perpetuated by the media."" - socially conscious rapper"

"Donald Trump could very well be our next President. Laugh, because it's a joke, guys. Guys? Guys! ...It's not funny anymore..."

"I'm a bit worried. I was checking my testicles this morning, and I noticed that one of them... ...is considerably larger than the other two."

"The chinese dierector A chinese movie crew was preparing for a movie. The dierector was Phill Ming"

"I hope the next Rambo movie is called 'Rambo No. 5' and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that."