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Joke of the Day
"Nothing makes you feel more insignificant than still having 85% battery at noon."
Next Joke
"Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than throwing them a surprise party."
"What do you do when a gay man is choking? Take your dick out of his mouth. im sorry"
"If I'm ever arrested, I would use my one phone call for pizza."
"I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies"
"Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but... He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*"
"I got fired from work on pajama day... It's not my fault I sleep naked."
"I hate Simpsons posts! Because I am a family guy."
"Why do politicians spend so much time at playgrounds? Because it's a great place to pick up swing voters."
"A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window. The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks. The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces. The windows phone freezes mid decent."