94958

Joke of the Day

"I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies"

"My ex was orphan as a child I should have taken that as the first sign. If her parents didn't want her, why would I."

"[OC] Where do all the cutest electrons hang out? A d orbital"

"How to cure affluenza? Introduce him to Warhammer."

"Scientists proved that cows don't give us meat and milk. We just take it from them!"

"Hey everyone in a play pretending to drive a car - stop steering so much."

"I almost ate that little packet in the shoe box. Good thing it said 'do not eat'. That was close."

"I'm sorry' and I apologize' generally mean the same thing Except at Funerals"

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad that I finally had to take his bike away."

"Does California have *any* water? I seriously drought it."