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Joke of the Day

"Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but... He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*"

"What is the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian? A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker"

"Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I'm going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear. Amazing ! so you have. How could that have happened ? I can't understand it either because I planted cabbage !"

"Why are pigs such early risers? Did you ever try to shut off a rooster?"

"*punches a fish* that's for tsunamis"

"214 of the 234 girls rescued in Nigeria from Boko Haram are pregnant? The other 20 girls must feel pretty fucking ugly."

"pedophile do you think pedophiles get depressed when they see a pregnant women walk into planned parenthood?"

"Feminism Nothing else. That's the joke."

"Chuck Norris Once roundhouse kicked a horse in the jaw, thus creating the giraffe."

"I just want to love someone half as much as a dog loves anyone"