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Joke of the Day

"This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women's bathroom."

"IRISH EATS ITALIAN Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath."

"Why couldnt the feminist screw in a lightbulb? Because there was a glass ceiling."

"What did Mr. T say when he saw a fat lady at the bar? I don't hate this bar, but I pity the stool."

"I'm glad I've got boobs. The last thing I want is people making eye contact with me."

"Kmart always smells like if Walmart was found dead in its apartment after three days."

"Yo mama's like a mosquito I gotta slap her to stop sucking"

"Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*"

"[guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy."

"Went to the doctor today and my many years of phone sex has finally caught up with me. I have hearing AIDS now."