200051

Joke of the Day

"Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*"

"If Pingu started a metal band... It would be called Slipnoot"

"Did you hear about that African-Asian summit? Apparently it was a black-thai do."

"What is Sherlock Holmes' favorite tree? A-lemon-tree my dear Watson."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? He's black, so should be pretty easy to spot against the white background"

"What does cows say when they want someone to move? Muuuuuuuuuuuuhve..........."

"Corny computer jokes? Why was the spider inside the Computer? He was looking for a webpage!"

"China's rise is terrifying: look at this list of casualties from Chinese military interventions over the last three decades http://i.imgur.com/WFsyTn8.png"

"I put my phone on airplane mode and now I can't bloody find it"

"I eat things based on the amount of dishes I have to use."