46222

Joke of the Day

"[guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy."

"*reads your mind* *decides to wait for the movie*"

"My abs hurt today because last night I went to the gym and got punched in the stomach"

"What do you call a pachyderm that has nothing to do with the situation? Irrelelephant. *...I'll show myself out*"

"I understand why Jesus was crucified But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher."

"Always keep an axe by the front door so I can give the other Jehovah something awesome to witness."

"The only ""b"" word a girl should be called is beautiful Bitches love being called beautiful"

"Why did the nose run? It did snot want to be late"

"I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you,""In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?"" ""F**kin' large ones"" is not the correct answer."

"I still eat around bruised parts of fruit like a scared 4-year-old."