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Joke of the Day
"Hawaiian terrorists be like... Aloha Akbar"
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"Idea for getting laid: Have a friend on the east coast write down Jeopardy answers, then invite your flame over and blow their mind."
"How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time."
"what is the disease that killed princes diana? Car pole tunnel syndrome"
"Why do mimes always lose arguments? They don't have a say in anything!"
"Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday? He's trying to age disgracefully!"
"Asked my girlfriend Shanon to tell me which fast food restaurant best describes my dick. She said Chick-fil-A, which was pretty clever, but the correct answer was Wendy's."
"A police officer confronts a man who he thinks is high on marijuana. ""How high are you?"" He asks. ""No,you said it wrong, it's 'Hi! How are you?'"""
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because this joke was so bad, even Dane Cook wouldn't steal it."
"Just now, from my dad: Have you heard the new Christmas carol from India? We Vishnu a Merry Krishnas."