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Joke of the Day

"Just now, from my dad: Have you heard the new Christmas carol from India? We Vishnu a Merry Krishnas."

"""..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again"" *raises hand* What guy thought horses might figure it out?"

"What sound does an Italian make when you shoot him? Wop"

"For Christmas this year, I decided to go all out and ask Santa for something black and shiny and will go 0 to 300 in 2 seconds. I got a scale."

"My daughter forgot to bring her lunch to school today. It was delicious."

"Down with the metric system no more foreign rulers!"

"There's two things I don't like about my sons new partner. He's black"

"Why cant a Gorilla get a job? BECAUSE HE'S BLACK"

"Considering the yr Jesus is said to have been born, I question those who give him the wheel or make him their copilot."

"whats the difference between a baby and an onion? i cry when i chop an onion"