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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell an old person from a young person? An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time."

"My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my penis... ...and asked what I was doing. Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the correct answer."

"I went on a date with a drinking straw. It really sucked."

"First Rule of Parent Club: If your kid gets their head stuck in something, make sure you get your camera before you help them get it out."

"What did the pirate say after his successful pillage? Thanks for the gold kind stranger!"

"What did Samsung Galaxy S 5 say to the iPhone 6? ""Get bent"" I hope you guys like this joke. I just came up with it."

"Wife: did you know there's an ""I hate Jeff"" group that meets in the park? Me: yes I started it I am the president"

"Have you ever heard a joke with no punchline?"

"I shit my pants the other day. Which is funny, because I don't remember eating them."

"I want a job as a mirror cleaner... It's something I can see myself doing."