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Joke of the Day

"People always look at me weird when I argue with my food, but what can I say? I cook a mean steak."

"My Dad got me a thesaurus for Christmas last year But when I opened it every single page was blank. I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was."

"I do 5 sit-ups every morning. It may not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button."

"I'm testing my theory that I can get away with putting a 0 or N/A in a work report that requires answers when I don't know the answers."

"Why are muslim charities the worst to donate to? Because they are for prophet."

"I got silver for cheating on my wife. I'm always medalling in affairs."

"What do a prostitute and a plumber have in common? They both service the john."

"Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad to be alive? I just did and I won't be allowed on this airline again"

"It must get awkward when someone by accident makes one of those ""I let him get away with murder"" jokes around O.J Simpson."

"How do you circumcise a guy from Florida? By punching the nearest ten year old boy in the back of the head."