197593

Joke of the Day

"My Dad got me a thesaurus for Christmas last year But when I opened it every single page was blank. I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was."

"I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work."

"What do you do when your washing machine breaks down? Give her a slap"

"Today marks 5 yrs of being smoke free!! Now I spend my time finding new places to hide the bodies of those who've pissed me off!"

"I scratch your back, you scratch mine. We die from loss of blood."

"What's the sharpest thing in the world? A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole."

"Wanna hear my construction joke? I'm still working on it..."

"What do you call a all female flight crew? A box office"

"A lady centipede crosses her legs..... .....""For the one hundredth time, NO!"""

"I can sum up 2016 in four words Two thousand and sixteen"