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Joke of the Day

"[Job Interview] ""It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?"" ""36"" ""That's not even close"" ""But it was quick"""

"I could have sworn I saw fig flavored altoids the other day.. must have been a figment of my imagination."

"It takes a long time for a giraffe... ...to swallow its pride."

"How do metal guitarists handle their expensive instruments? Very Djently."

"My sons joke - if you've a cricket ball in one hand, and a cricket ball in the other hand. What have you got? A big cricket."

"When in dangerous situation - you should always sleep with one eye opened. Especially if you're a Cyclops."

"What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A Fruit Stand"

"[to astronaut brother] Ooooh la la Gary's going to SPACE *does jerkoff motion* I'll be here on EARTH where my pizza & tv won't FLOAT AWAY"

"Knock Knock... What's the best ""Knock Knock"" Joke?"

"Me: I need to know what your office drug policy is. Him: No drugs. Me: Got it... Do you consider the parking lot to be part of the office?"