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Joke of the Day

"It takes a long time for a giraffe... ...to swallow its pride."

"I need to get my spine removed.. It's been holding me back my whole life"

"A blind person walks in to a bar."

"I wish my marks would smoke weed So it'd get high"

"I just found out about Shift Codes in Borderlands... I now have 100 golden keys."

"I'm never condescending That's when you talk down to people."

"TSA: Sir, you can't bring that bottle of whiskey on the flight. Me: Um, this is my Service Whiskey. See his little vest? TSA: ...."

"ME: *taking their hand* It's okay. We all struggle with connecting. RABBID RACCOON: *hissing & desperately trying to wrench its hand free*"

"TIL Steve Irwin's official cause of death was ""onset of fever"" https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/fever"

"I still remember what my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. ""I wonder how far I can kick this bucket"""