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Joke of the Day

"what is the difference between mosquito and prostitute? One sucks free of cost while the other is paid for sucking"

"I got fired today, because during my lunch break, I went to the men's room and blew chunks. Chunks is our forklift driver, I should admit."

"I tend to drop a lot of glassware but that means I'd be pretty fucking handy in one of those ""In case of emergency break glass."" situations."

"Just moved out on my own and am doing really well... All my bills say im outstanding"

"Did you hear they are still going to run the New York Marathon? Phelps is the favourite."

"What do you call a broken angle? A rektangle"

"In the future everyone will be older."

"Why did the irishman wear two condoms? to be sure, to be sure."

"Men are like high heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it."

"Hugs not drugs. Except, yes drugs and why are you touching me?"