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Joke of the Day

"How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act? A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked? A: Yes HIRED!"

"Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?"

"If two wrongs do not make a right, What do two rights make? An airplane! haha Wright brothers :-) I made this joke when I was in Junior high"

"Girls are like blackjack. I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."

"Why are antivax parents so afraid of their kids getting autism? Because they know, first hand, how hard life is when you're a fucking retard."

"Hey, Dyson vacuum guy. You invented a previously existing invention. Relax."

"God hates a coward! ...He ain't to fond of idiots either"

"When Dennis Thatcher had sex with Margaret Thatcher he called it pumping iron."

"Everyone is constantly trying to be interesting & that's why we're all so boring"

"Donald Trump is still running for president because it is the only race he hasn't offended yet."