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Joke of the Day

"Her: About last night, please understand that wasn't me... that was the wine. Me: ... Her: ... Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?"

"I've been trying to give myself a sexchange... but I just can't pull it off."

"Mickey Mantle knew 2 things. Drinking, and how to play drunk baseball."

"My preferred method of birth control is ""mood-killing repetitive DVD menu."""

"Why did the snowman take his pants off? He heard the snow blower was coming."

"Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because he's a fucking creep"

"What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year? It's a fugazi."

"A dyslexic person walks into a bra."

"I just left my job. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. What did he say? You're fired."

"99% Indians work on the Principle of Rockets. It doesn't mean we aim for the sky. It means, we don't start work unless our tail is on fire"