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Joke of the Day

"Girls are like blackjack. I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."

"Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming."

"I dont think I can be gay I just dont have it in me."

"Great! My hot neighbor Karen just saw me in the toilet paper aisle at the supermarket! Now she's gonna know I shit!"

"My husband has been missing for a week, the police say to prepare for the worst... So I went to the thrift store & got all his clothes back!"

"If I was a smart thief, do you know what I would rob? A book store."

"Knock, Knock. > Who's there? > The secret of Comedy. > The secret of Co.. > (interrupting) TIMING!"

"What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !"

"Hubs: There's nothing on TV *winks* Me: Remember last time? *both look at 2yo* Hubs: There's over 900 channels, we'll find something"

"How did people travel through Germany when Hitler was in power? Not sea. Get it? like Nazi. but not sea. get it?"