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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part about having sex with a gilf? You can finger her and grab her titties with one hand at the same time. ;)"

"Subtracting the average from a distributing is demeaning."

"If you want people to get mad at you, just say that your not going to care about you're mistakes."

"My daughters boyfriend still doesn't know how to tie his shoes... Every time I walk in her room that's all she's doing."

"Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes the cow ate all the grass!"

"In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes."

"A farmer counted 197 cows in his field... ...but when he rounded them up, he had 200."

"Baltimore CVS Looters They really cleaned the place out. The only things they left behind are sunscreen and Father's Day cards."

"Paris Hilton's IMDB page should only be accessible on April 1st."

"Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!"