195521

Joke of the Day

"Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student? Because education pays off in the long run!"

"My cooking show would just be an hour of me looking for Tupperware lids."

"Headlice are now resistant to the usual medical treatments.... The problem has scientists scratching their heads."

"How do you know the guy sucking your dick is gay? He's holding it with his pinky in the air."

"I've never bitten off more than I can chew, but once I put too much mouthwash in my mouth and couldn't swish it around."

"How can you get out of a locked room with a piano in it? Play the piano until you find the right key."

"Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50.... ... Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes. ... ... Riceless."

"My children annoy me so I'm leaving everything in my will to a nap I took in 2007."

"My dad just dropped this one on my brother and I Someone broke into the Police Station and they stole the toilet. Police are looking into it but they have nothing to go on."

"I like my coffee like my women... Black and bitter, preferably fairtrade"