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Joke of the Day
"If you want people to get mad at you, just say that your not going to care about you're mistakes."
Next Joke
"So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine. It's going to be called 'Crimea River'."
"I joined a 12 step program for people who talk too much. Its called OnAndOnAnon"
"Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste **funny**."
"Arguing with guy at the bar and he claimed Wikipedia was an unreliable source, suggesting instead that I listen to him, a drunk guy at a bar"
"I was going to buy some classical CDs... But it turns out I'm baroque."
"My telethon to raise money for starving children in Africa was a huge flop. I didn't know the TV added 10 pounds. Those kids looked fine. :("
"My wife came back really upset from her doctor's appointment -What did he say my love? -He said we cannot have sex for at least a month... -How that? -He is on vacation in Barbados for a month..."
"Mickey Mouse is in court ... the judge looks and Mickey and says ""Why are you divorcing Minnie? is she crazy?"" Mickey looks at the judge and says ""No. She is fucking Goofy"""
"*Builds panic room out of Swiss cheese* *Fails to see holes in plan*"