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Joke of the Day

"My apologies to Tom Cruise. I honestly thought that Scientologists dug up and studied old scientists."

"What do you get when you cross Batman with Mountain Dew? Dew diligance"

"The old man's stairlift broke down in the middle of the stairs That piece of shit drove him up the fucking wall"

"There's never been a single day in my life when I thought to myself "" thank god the cops are here"""

"Did you go to the cellphone's wedding? No but I heard that the reception was great."

"If you can't say something nice, say it to your husband... he's not listening anyway."

"Igloo Building by S Keemo"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It'll kill your dog."

"please tell me that when we defeat ISIS they will have to become WASWAS"

"Didn't think these orthopedic shoes would work, but I stand corrected."