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Joke of the Day

"The company CEO gives a few words of personal appreciation each year at the holiday party. I got, ""Oh, you're still here?"""

"Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out."

"MTV stopped having their ""Unplugged"" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments."

"Excited to pick up ""Anxiety Birds"" tomorrow. It's like ""Angry Birds,"" but Jewish."

"i' ve just bought an house in France, southern coast. It' s very Nice."

"What do you call a faggot with an axe? A Fascist"

"I tweet because it's fun and I like the validation, but also because one day it'll prove to a jury how crazy I am."

"do you have any idea how fast you were going? ""no, I'm not wearing my contacts"""

"What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men? 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!"

"The most active user on reddit: [deleted]. Seriously this guy is everywhere."