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Joke of the Day

"*Gets pulled over by cop* ""Papers?"" ""Scissors"" *Cop removes glasses* ""Rocks?"" *Both start successful trap house*"

"What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows? The Trail of Smears"

"How to deal with anger and resentment toward someone: 1. Write down feelings and put message in a bottle 2. Break bottle over person's head"

"I was talking to my grandfather When he said ""your generation relies too much on technology"" I then said "" no grandpa yours does"" Then I unplugged his life support."

"I'm a champion of grammar; A grampion, if you will."

"I've always wanted to buy 2 coffees, take them to a crime scene & while handing 1 to the officer in charge ask, ""So, what do we have here?"""

"My Mum laughed at me when I said I was building a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta"

"Sure, I can teach you about fractions, kid. Just remember this: There is a very fine line between the numerator and the denominator."

"I remember 2016 Like it was just yesterday"

"Q: Who would become President of the U.S.A if the President died? A: Bill Clinton of course!"