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Joke of the Day

"I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!"

"Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but.. Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I'd still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike."

"What did the wise man say to the fat guy? You should probably go on a diet."

"What is a pirates nightmare date? A girl with a sunken chest and no booty"

"One day at a Stripper Club Stripper: ""The more you tip, the more I'll reveal!"" (*tips more money*) Stripper: ""Bush did 9/11!"""

"German girls are really kinky... I was having sex with one and she kept yelling ""nein nein nein"" So I said ""I thought you were twelve but I'll keep going"""

"I had to chase a mugger after he stole my wallet He really gave me a run for my money!"

"Bi?ch I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply"

"Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a field when one looks over to the other and asks: ""Do you smell carrots?"""

"Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped police custody? Be on the lookout for a small medium at large."