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Joke of the Day
"I gave my wife my email address but she keeps on speaking directly to me."
Next Joke
 
"What's it called when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial Intelligence."
"So I went to a zoo the other day... And all it had in it was one dog. It was a shitzu."
"1. Put on clown shoes. 2. Sit in toilet stall with feet pulled up. 3. Wait for someone to enter other stall. 4. Slowly lower feet to floor"
"Q: What is the lightest thing in the world? A: A penis because just a thought can lift it."
"What's the difference between a Trump and an athlete? Athletes know when to stop running."
"What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'"
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."
"Synonym is an antonym for antonym, but antonym is not a synonym for synonym. And I'm not even high or anything."
"I was making breakfast, then ""She's a maniac"" came on the radio... Everything is a blur. Why am I so tired? Why am I in this steel factory?"