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Joke of the Day

"Pansexuals are like teenagers They eat whatever is in front of them"

"Did you hear about the woman who had twelve boobs? Sounds fake, dozen tit?"

"I always have to wear sleeveless shirts. Concealed carry isn't legal for *these guns!*"

"Wife: Did you eat an ENTIRE half-gallon of ice cream?!?! Me: It was getting freezer-burned. W: I just bought it today! Me: Crazy freezer."

"Vin Diesel's full name is Vintage Dieselengine."

"This popped into my head when I was half asleep. Figured I'd share. What does a Sparkle magazine model call her g-spot? Her glitterus"

"Why did the surfer join ISIS? Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up."

"The best thing about going on a date with a sarcastic person is that no matter what happens they're going to tell you they had a great time."

"No arms no legs What do you call a Mexican prostitute who has no arms and no le/"

"I've turned the wifi off. The 15yo's world has ended. I feel like one of the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse. Conquest, War, Famine & Dad."