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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Scooby Doo villain who became an Olympic swimmer? He would have won, if it weren't for all those medaling swimmers!"

Next Joke
 
"Jewish guy goes to his rabbi . . . . . . he asks, ""I don't get it. If we're the chosen people, why did God make the goys?"" The rabbi shrugs and say, ""Hey . . . somebody's gotta pay retail."""
"With oil prices falling... Burning the midnight oil just got cheaper."
"INTERVIEWER: It says here you can communicate telepathically? ME: IN: Is this an ability you have always had? ME: IN: Please say something."
"Girls. Don't get upset if your twitter crush stars a really hot girl or even retweets her cause she is prolly really a dude. Stay calm."
"I got teased by my friends, because they thought my girlfriend was imaginary Jokes on them - they are too."
"My wife has just got a job at the local sewage works. I reckon she will be the best shit stirrer they have ever had."
"What's the difference between a captain and a lt.col ? A major difference."
"Money is really tight this year... My family has decided that we are going to exchange glances for Christmas."
"Eventually you're going to achieve self awareness in a padded cell, staring at your palm, realizing twitter was just all your personalities"