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Joke of the Day

"So I was having sex the other day... I thought I was doing a great job because her toes kept curling, then I realized she was still wearing panty-hose..."

"Could eating a lot of spaghetti make me a better dad? I suppose it's pastable."

"How many spiders are in your vagina RIGHT NOW? The answer may surprise you."

"When you're accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don't reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago."

"Him: Why do you wear riding boots? You don't ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers? You don't sneak."

"I've watched the same porno movie 126 times. I'm trying to see how it ends."

"Why are they rioting in Ferguson? Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done."

"Ha Long is many Dongs"

"Sooo much pressure as a woman to not have a mustache."

"The thing about midgets and dwarfs... they have very little in common."