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Joke of the Day

"""dad mom wont tell me where babies come from"" *dad slams newspaper down* DAMN THAT WOMAN & HER SECRETS *clenches fists* WHY WONT SHE TELL US"

"A homeless man told me to get home safely I smiled and said, ""You too!"""

"everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal"

"Nope. Not gonna follow anyone whose name is upside down. I got enough problems."

"Coworker: crazy weather we're having Me: [as loud as possible] SHARON FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT KILL YOUR HUSBAND FOR A BAG OF REDVINES"

"Attention friends who don't understand humor,,, please do not attempt to reply to the posts of us who have humorous whit,,,, it's beyond your skill level."

"I once had a girl who wanted to shit on my chest She really did a number on me"

"Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? Policeman: It was a moving violation."

"I have an addiction to cheddar... But it's only mild"

"What does Tim Cook have for breakfast in the morning? Not Apple Jacks"