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Joke of the Day

"I once had a girl who wanted to shit on my chest She really did a number on me"

"Dad is the polite way of saying Motherfucker."

"What do you call a midget in a subway saying, ""tick...tick...tick...""? A metro-gnome"

"If I was a candle... ...and somebody dumped a bucket of water on me, I'd be quite put out."

"Did you hear the one about the zombie telemarketer? They say he was a dead ringer."

"I like my women like I like my video games... Finish this joke! There's a thousand punchlines. I want to hear yours!"

"Why are there no cats on mars? Curiosity."

"H2O is water. H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking and bathing."

"What do Swedish people put in their coffee? Artifical Swedeners"

"What do you call a troop of rabbits marching single-file in reverse? A receding hare line."