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Joke of the Day

"everyone's always saying 'the good ones die young', 'god only takes the best'. so I must be immortal"

"How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of."

"A boat carrying red paint, and a boat carrying blue paint, both crash into each other. The crew are now marooned."

"What do you call a cow with no sense of humor ? A feminist"

"Why do melons always have well planned weddings ? They can'telope !"

"Death hack: bury your loved ones with their fitness trackers for a low-cost early zombie alert system."

"the only time its ok to call a black guy a nigga is when he shoots you ""dis nigga shot me!"""

"What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question and a joke?"

"Ever been in the shower, already late, when you feel that colorectal peristaltic action and think ""Damnit, I don't have time for this shit!"""

"Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Jaun, you've heard Jamal."