205895

Joke of the Day

"Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? Policeman: It was a moving violation."

"What do you give the blonde that has everything? Penicillin."

"U ever squeeze out a turd so big that it feels like u traveled through time once it's out? anyway forgive me father for i have sinned"

"Since I've been on my own, I no longer trust a whole gallon of milk... The problem is every time I bring it into my house, it doesn't get drunk. It gets wasted."

"Is that water coming out of your nose? No, it'snot"

"Why can lesbians leave town faster than gay men? A lesbian can just lickitey-split, a gay man has to pack his shit first."

"There's a 100% chance the Republicans will discuss Starbucks cups in a debate tonight, so remember that when they ask how they lost in 2016."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank coffee before it was cool."

"The good news is my black girlfriend says I have mean dick The bad news is she's a mathematician."

"What game do tornadoes like to play? -Twister"