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Joke of the Day

"*Paranormal Factivity* [I walk into my bathroom] ""OH MY GOD"" ['WHALES ARE ACTUALLY MAMMALS' is written in blood on the mirror]"

"There is only one thing that could possibly stop Messi's unstoppable form Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick"

"What is Moses's favorite beer? Busch Light."

"What do you call an Eagle who can't catch it's prey? *Talon*tless. ...Sorry."

"Is my kid an official US Citizen if she just talked about how good the ranch dressing at the Cheesecake Factory is for 10mins?"

"Hey, guys. Love college basketball? You should see this thing CBS is doing this weekend. Crazy!"

"I doubt vodka has all the answers But it's worth a shot."

"""I bet you can't name two different structures that hold water!"" Well, dam..."

"I won the lottery for a million dollars today so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. ... ... I now have $999,999.75"

"Papa Johns delivered to the World Trade Center on 9/11... They were 2 large plains."