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Joke of the Day

"I measured my penis today and it said 11.7 inches. Then I realized the ruler was backwards. Credit to /u/TodoJaw21"

Next Joke
 
"Today is a big day for the Chinese. Erection Day"
"What's your favorite ""I just hurt myself or messed up"" phrase? Like, oh fuck! Oh shit! TITTY SPRINKLESSSSSSS"
"What do you call an exploding box? Your new Note 7 package"
"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."
"*Draws happy eyebrows on my dog*"
"Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy."
"""I hope she got fat, I hope she got fat"" - me looking up an ex girlfriend on Facebook."
"What kind of wolf never runs? Steppenwolf"
"All my scars & bruises tell a story. The story of a guy who falls down A LOT when he's drunk."
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