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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a girl that sleeps with you for your Adderall? A total attention whore."
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"Standing closer to me in line will not get you to the checkout faster."
"""The tension between Uranus... and Pluto hat has been there since June of 2012 will finally ease up"", Astrologist say."
"New genetics study shows that chronic diarrhea may be hereditary It runs in your jeans."
"Q: Was Jesus delicious?"
"I get really bad anxiety when driving over bridges. My therapist says I have truss issues."
"""Wow, I haven't showered since last year!"" ""Haha good one, but it's not the new year yet"" ""I know..."""
"Microwaves don't need to give warning beeps after cooking the food - the last thing I'm going to do is forget I just made pizza rolls."
"Why didn't Bono sell any wheat bread at his bakery? Cuz it's all rye, it's all rye, it's all rye."
"Hi, how much for this torture device? Sir, that's a wedding ring."