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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the shop that only employed dwarves? It had to close because it was short staffed."

"king kong would have done better at work if he perfected his elevator pitch. yea, that one's a zero."

"Why is the area between the boobs and the ass called the 'waist?' Because you could easily fit two more boobs down there."

"I hate church with all the sitting, standing, and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band? Because they don't even know if they believe."

"What kind of math class did the acorn take when it grew up? Gee-I'm-a-tree!"

"life is like a box of chocolates: it kills dogs"

"H: I think we should see other people. Me: Do I have to? I don't even really want to see you."

"An iron rule of a leader make love to your wife in the morning and you will be the first."

"Do men prefer straight or curly hair? Need to know so I can tell my roommate the opposite and then try to steal her boyfriend."