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Joke of the Day

"I hate church with all the sitting, standing, and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store? For the Watch."

"Please ignore this status..... I am standing in public alone and I don't want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting."

"An Eskimo's lover leans in close and says.. ""baby, kiss me."" The Eskimo leans forward, shakes his head, and says ""no""."

"Sherlock Holmes and Watson are in a greenhouse when Watson says ""Is that an orange bush, Holmes?"" Holmes replies, ""It's a lemon tree, my dear Watson"""

"What is the similarity between a bicycle and a black man? The rightful owner of both is white"

"You ever wake up with a hangover feeling proud that you didn't send embarrassing drunk texts the night before? What's it like?"

"Two really hot women are walking down the street... when a man who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere..."

"Who is a Graduate student's least favorite Greek Hero? Thesus"

"Oh I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood. This is a Ferrets wheel. When your compartment is 90 feet in the air, we release the ferrets."