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Joke of the Day

"Love it when moms refer to kids by age in tweets. ""6 fell down today"". Wonder if the kids do the opposite at school: ""33 is drunk again""."

"What foods are still good the second or third time you've eaten them? I'm looking for food for my human centipede..."

"For breakfast this morning... I had ebola cereal!"

"There's two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says ""it's getting pretty hot in here"". The other muffin turns and says ""Ahhh! Talking muffin!"""

"Thank you to whoever has been keeping Keanu Reeves busy with a laser pointer for the last 10 years."

"What do you call a pessimistic clone? A repli-can't!"

"What is the name of a bag pipe band that likes to play while jumping on squares? hopscotts."

"New spy action film to feature a furry marsupial It will be called Mission Impossumible"

"All I'm saying is no one ever country westerns you like a hurricane."

"Did you hear about Ryan Seacrest's beard? Apparently she's a former Miss Teen USA."