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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally ordered a grande at Dunkin Donuts so I had to just keep speaking spanish so they wouldn't think I was a snob."

"[USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says ""bathtub."" M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay"

"Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive."

"When life gives you melons... ... you might be dyslexic."

"Valentine's Day is nothing but a commercialized holiday created by pharmaceutical companies to get lonely singles to buy antidepressants."

"What do you call a guitar that has completely changed parts? Trans-Fender."

"What do you call a Pakistani prostitute in France? Lahore."

"If my kid turns out to be a criminal, I am totally blaming Grand Theft Auto and not my shitty parenting."

"Postman told me he was going on holidays.... I asked him if it was Parcelona or Istampbul he was headed to... Just said it was a stag do for his friend Ah, an all mail party I exclaimed"

"Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink? A: The grip."