58358

Joke of the Day

"Happy Valentines! A little early I know, but l suffer from premature congratulation"

"Why did my girlfriend cross the road? To go back to the first shop we went in two hours ago."

"Why didn't the Buddhist monk vacuum under his couch? He had no attachments."

"Have you guys ever seen any of my exes? Exactly."

"I can't stand people who are indirect You know who you are"

"Why do ecologists like lepers? Because they're biodegradable!"

"Personally, I don't find swearing offensive. I think it adds character & emphasis to a conversation. I do find, backstabbing, lying, cheating and screwing people over offensive, but not swearing."

"I rang my telecom provider. Before I got through , I had to say ""Jump through the hoop! Do a flip!"" They said my call may be recorded for training porpoises."

"ME: *to friend* you're dumb as a box of rocks lol BOX OF ROCKS: *putting finishing touches on his astrophysics thesis* dude"

"What's a space pirate's favorite planet? mArrrs!"