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Joke of the Day

"ME: *to friend* you're dumb as a box of rocks lol BOX OF ROCKS: *putting finishing touches on his astrophysics thesis* dude"

"When I'm feeling down. I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio"

"What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her."

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre Didn't go over too well in r/pics."

"When is the best time to schedule a Dentist Appointment? 2:30 (Tooth Hurty)"

"heres a bad joke your life"

"My dad got carpal tunnel syndrome from being on a keyboard in an office all day. It got so bad his boss made him get rid of the piano."

"How many sexual orientations does a physicist have? Six: Up, Down, Strange, Charm, Top and Bottom."

"Guy calls his doctor... He says, ""I figured out what's been causing the pain, doc. Avocado!"" Doctor: ""Did you research that?"" Guy: ""No, I just pulled it out of my ass"""

"Seeing another person with synesthesia... is like music to my eyes."