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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar every time someone called my mother a whore... I'd be the richest client she ever had"

"TIFU when my parents weren't home. turns out it is really hard getting your dick out of a dvd once you get erect"

"There's no easy way to say this... FJdnfiouadp, djfpiocu aneouidf, acnslikfiucukuokjpqukd. Diuoiufpqknddiolololdiodoodlioaidoiucnbnzquznd. Qudfiout'z'ndfjoikcugh."

"Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am."

"I was told I couldn't change religion because I wasn't circumcised .. Guess I'm just not cut out to be a Jew."

"Roses are red, Violets are blue Gorilla shot at Cincinnati zoo"

"What did the overly excited gardener do when spring arrived? He wet his plants."

"Grandpa walks into a drug store Grandpa: ""I'd like to buy 99 condoms."" Clerk: ""Why don't you take 100?"" Grandpa: ""Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"""

"The plane starts going down. I say, ""If we die, know that hat is hideous"". We all survive. Great Aunt Mildred hasn't spoken to me since."

"I like my internet like I dislike my women. Not going down on me."