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Joke of the Day

"Grandpa walks into a drug store Grandpa: ""I'd like to buy 99 condoms."" Clerk: ""Why don't you take 100?"" Grandpa: ""Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"""

"""Hi, it's me. I can't get to the phone right now, even though it's right here in my hand."""

"Can someone please explain this joke to me ""It shoulds be spelled 'colllllllllllllege cause ive taken far more than 2 L's"" My friend sais L means loses but loses of what"

"Can anyone answer why they've kept the name Lynchburg? Come on, don't leave me hanging."

"what if God. Israel?"

"Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard."

"What comes in pairs? seeds"

"How many American cops does it take to change a broken lightbulb? Two. One to arrest the room for being black, and the other to arrest the bulb for being broke."

"Hi, I want to get a tattoo to express my individuality. Do you mind if I look through this book of tattoos you've done for other people?"

"Why does Santa come only once a year? (Its not the chimney one) Because it's all his sack can handle"